Every time someone complains to me about preferring a vegan lifestyle for whatever reason and comes at me stupidly.

Me: There is a reason most people actually transition over time. To teach themselves not to go hungry. To find out what they can eat when they have health restrictions and allergies.

Hell, I’m in year five of my transition because restrictive diets and eating disorders are hard to manage, especially when you are low income.

If you jump into without thinking about and what it means for you as a person as well you do more damage in the end.

If you don’t understand veganism, ask.

Posted in Shalyse Speaks

Poly 101ish Info Pack

A transfer from let’s talk about poly which is now one of my deleted sites.

Inspire by a mono friend who asked questions about him and his husband opening their relationship. This will probably become the base of an FAQ for this site.

Would you tell me more about polyamory?
First, the definition is having ( or having the compacity or desire to have) more than one intimate or loving relationship simultaneously. There are many ways that love and intimacy manifest as sexuals are learning to be acutely aware of, as well as many ways to create relationships.

What are important things to remember?

  1. Remember that you do not own your partner. Ownership outside of the BDSM world is usually something very dangerous and unhealthy because it is not negotiated nor does it address a person as a whole individual who has consented to something else.
  2. Negotiate everything and stick to your boundaries, that does not mean that you cannot renegotiate. Your major choices are to find a compromise, redefine your relationship, or take it or leave it.
  3. Communication is a must and emotional processing is important.
  4. Self-awareness is a must, but it takes time.
  5. I always suggest being ok with dating separately or apart and discussing boundaries for how to address things that affect your relationship. Examples: Time that must be allocated for dating and spending time with other partners, money for dates and travel, emotional energy.
  6. Polyamory is not the only way. Non-monogamy is an umbrella.
  7. Polyamory isn’t easy. It’s not really harder than monogamy, but there are a lot more complexities when dealing with multiple relationships whether they run parallel or intersect.
  8. My observation is that it is harder to do if it is not your natural inclination. For most of us it seems to be our default relational orientation, not a choice we make, so because relating on this level comes more natural it is easier to break the constructs of relationships that have been pushed on us.

Where is a good place to find resources? Are there any resources specific to LGBT relationships? How about allo/asexual relationships?

Some groups and blogs:
I suggest joining a group that I moderate called Black and Poly

There are also groups like:
Intersectional Non-Monogamy

These are groups that I suggest people who need intersection based info for queer relationships and anything to start.

Of course, I suggest my blog as a resource to everyone:

But other resources include:

Other articles include:


​Please remember that people not supporting police officers brutal treatment of civilians and anyone who supports them, does not mean a person wants them dead.
Just because we will not allow this to erase and disrupt our message does not mean that we support unnecessary death.
That’s actually the point.
We don’t want unnecessary deaths. Period.

Posted in Shalyse Speaks

When you say “All lives matter”…

…we know you don’t mean that.
If you did believe that you would know that statement is redundant.

We know all lives matters. That is a given.”All lives matter” was a reaction based in erasive behaviour.

Saying “Black lives matter” and having a movement behind is not refutong that statement. It’s reminding you that we matter too. 

That while you live in the fantasy that racism and inequality does not exist anymore POC of all races experience it.

Every time you say “All lives matter”, you are derailing a much needed discussion just because it is a little uncomfortable.You can say pretty things like race is a social construct and it doesn’t matter, but it does.

Race is something that does exist. It has ties to our social, geographic, and cultural existence.

Thr negative side of itcomes from imperlistic views used  to control, enslave, and manipulate.The traces of that are ingrained in our society.

The moment people stop trying to pretend it is not something that exist, is the moment we can truly address the problem.

The problem is not accepting and celebrating multiple racial groups and the various cultures that fall into those groupings and overlap. 

The problem is fearing what is different and trying to skew the view of what those differences mean.

 The problem is not truly allowing minority groups their rights, but forcing them to rebuild.

Yes y’all, minority groups still exist. 

The Civil Rights Movement is not that far away. Do you know what we were fighting for? The right to be seen as human beings deserving of respect just like you. For all People of Color to have equal rights.

Apparently that is too much to ask, still.

Remember that BLM also addresses police brutality and how it affects all people. It does however have a major focus on the fact that there is a trend of racial inequity. It is not saying all police are bad. Its saying thay there are people in a position of power who use it and abuse it due to racism, ego, and an inflated sense of self, as well as the fact that we need to seriously examine the training methods and processes of police forces.