Posted in Verse - Diminishing secrets of Zephyrrine

Polyamory Hierarchy 101

Primary. Ones that I want to grow with

Primary. Ones who are my intentional family.

Primary. Those I prioritize and put my resources into every day.

Those resources are so limited.

Primary. I will drop everything just to be a pillow and soak up your tears.

Primary. I consider how I affect you.

Secondary. You are still my breath of fresh air,

a love of my life,

that smile when I wake,

but we know we don’t plan on forever.

We don’t even plan on a year and a day.

Secondary. I cherish each moment differently because we make no promises.

Secondary. I have no expectations, but I still love and value you.

Secondary. I will strive to do my best but sometimes I just have too much going on.

Partners all matter, just in different ways.

But if you look at me and a partner from the outside I bet wouldn’t be able to see who is a primary and who is a secondary.

Why?

Because they are still people.

People deserving of love and affection,

time and our definition of commitment.

Primary and secondary are just descriptors.

Sometimes they are unspoken but known.

Sometimes I love you just because you exist,

but I know that our paths are too different.

They are similar enough for the short-term, right.

Secondaries are a beautiful experience and so often taken advantage of.

I hope you know that no matter where you stand on the partner spectrum

you deserve respect you have value.

Hierarchy is not abuse.

Hierarchy, if it exists is necessary because of limited resources.

Hierarchy is not an excuse to abuse assert couples privilege.

Couple’s privilege is not having a life and responsibilities with someone.

That is just called living.

Hierarchy, Primary, Secondary are words we use to communicate an idea.

Don’t get so wrapped up in the idea that you forget the context.

Don’t forget that those words are just the outline laid on canvas.

We are creating art with our love and feelings for each other.

Every touch.

Every moment.

Each painting has a different style…

because of you.

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